At 24 years old, I realize one thing.
If everything cannot be forced to realize it
If our plan sometimes is not expected of us.
You cannot control your life at all.
There is one thing that is out of our control from us, and it cannot be expected of us.
Sometimes we only need acceptance of our disappointment.
Accepting our disappointment and realized there are a lot of plans in your life.
If you are failed of plan A, there is a plan B until Z, which you’ve created in your life.
I have been living for 24 years old. I realize if we want to succeed in our life, there are a lot of tortuous paths. It’s not only about successful instantly but also about the purpose of your life that you reach in your life. Once in a while, I’m envious of the person who shows off their wealth which they get instantly, but it is wrong. Life is not like a fairytale, and it’s not only about happiness and success, but also their life is like a princess. Life is like a roller coaster.
Twenty-four years old, I stay alive through many things every year. I realize that every problem will be over. Although it took time for a long time and faced disenchantment. As Newt said in the Fever Code’s novel:
“Every piece of your wound in yourself, it would heal as time goes by the time,”
Despite this, there are many things that I cannot forget but need to accept in my life. Everything will be flowers that bloom perfectly and heal at the right time. The pain is temporary, and it will make us stronger than before.
Through many retardations. It started with bullying in primary school and high school. Moreover, I did self-harm when I was in junior high school, and someone said that I was crazy. I realize that we cannot rely on everyone. We have to be independent people and, as much as possible, do not ask people to help us. We have to love ourselves.
I have been living for 24 years old. I realize if we cannot force something. Specifically, about love things. Two years ago, I forced someone to say happy birthday to me. I pushed him because I was jealous when he said happy birthday to someone close to him, but he did not say happy birthday to me. As if he didn’t know my birthday, but he saw a friend of mine’s WhatsApp story. He said to someone, whereas he did not say to me. How about the result? I thought he was not genuinely saying happy birthday to me. Nowadays, I rarely force someone, specifically him (sometimes I force my close friends). I do not feel disappointed again.
When my birthday comes this year, I merely need to update a story or moment without forcing anyone. Afterward, I realize if people want to say happy birthday to you, they will say it to you without you are having to make an effort to them. I’m so glad even though I feel disappointed, but it is just a bit of disappointment. The reality, we cannot control something that is out of our control from ourselves.
Throughout my 24 years old, I have found an enigma in myself that I did not before. I find the one passion that this passion makes me keep alive. I love to read a book. I love to read and write. Previously, I did not like reading, and I thought writing was not necessary. Nevertheless, when I fell in love with someone, I wrote a poem for him, and it made me relieved because I did not think about him too much. There are some questions that I ask myself:
“Why do I find someone like them?”
“Why do I attempt to be clever, but I’m always facing a lazy person?”
Some questions that I do not find the answer to until today. Nonetheless, I found the answer, but it was not the right answer, and I realized that. We will find many types of people. Everyone is different, and it is out of our control how to find other people from our surroundings is learning and increasing our knowledge. From understanding what we want to learn, we will find the right person with a different background too.
As long as I live, I also realize that we always meet with some people. I prove it, and you can choose, do you accept them or not? This year, we need to focus on ourselves. Let the universe bring into reality our dream become to us.
