The Disconnected: Finding what we need on the Internet.
I feel tired and need to take a rest for a while from social media. Moreover, I also thought that I was spending my time on the Internet.
On this day, we are living fulfilled with technology. So many times, to read and find information on the internet also think that the world is really scary to live in. Whereas, in our real life it seems that there is nothing to be worried about and we do not feel scared about everything. The real world is calm, and nothing is happening about something that creepy.
On the other hand, with technology, we can find new friends through social media. Most of them meet and greet each other in their real life and as best friends. Surprisingly, the internet also can be a place to find your partner. In my opinion, the internet has the biggest impact on our life. Furthermore, with the internet, you can discover a new friend from overseas or another place in Indonesia. Nevertheless, social media could keep you away from the people around you.
Why Do Happen in Your Life?
It has a simple answer, implicitly, we are building our bubbles on the internet. We could build our world based on our branding and what we want to build on the internet. Nevertheless, we forget our real life. For example, on Quora, we look smart and diligent, but on other social media, we are just human beings who have some problems that cannot be shared on Quora.
Going somewhere on the Internet (such as X, Instagram, TikTok, and Quora) indirectly makes me feel tired and anxious that I do not need to feel anxious in my real life. One example is arguing with someone on the Internet which means they do not have any activities. They are solely for hate speech because they feel lonely. Sometimes, they also feel stressed because their life is cruel. As Kiberd said in her book:
Social Media became the site of the culture war, one where thinly veiled feelings of futility translated into discrimination and threats of violence. It was no coincidence, to me, that these movements shared a distrust of mainstream media while failing to recognise that platforms like Facebook and Twitter are the mainstream media today (p.15)
We go somewhere on the Internet because we just want to a new friends based on our loneliness. In addition, it makes us feel tired and bored. It happened to me when I needed to escape from reality, I found a friend from the Internet.
Quora was the Best Place to Escape from Reality in My Life.
It happened in 2021 because of COVID-19. I felt lonely because most of my friends focused on their thesis. Moreover, it was a heartbreak from someone. I thought that I needed someone who could accompany me to talk about something. Then, I started to write on Quora, and an unexpected thing happened to me. I was shocked that people on Quora have been interacting with each other since 2018.
Furthermore, they are doing personal interaction through WhatsApp and Instagram. They meet each other in real life and have a lot of groups, also make a book anthology. Initially, it made me happy, but after all, I felt tired. Kiberd said that the Internet makes your mind feel exhausted:
I try to type, but tell myself I’m tired, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I believe I’m not capable of carrying out in writing the ideas I myself have conceived of. I’m not enough to do my own work (p.115)
It occurred because when I wrote something that gave a benefit such as new knowledge, I rarely got more than 100+ upvotes whereas when someone had a circle although their writing was not giving a new insight, they would get 100+ upvotes.
Moreover, I feel on Quora that we have no privacy. However, they will be surveillance ourselves through Instagram or WhatsApp. The one thing that I think is:
Why do you want to know more about your personal life from people whom you interact with through Quora?
I do not know why they are following each other (it is also me, but I already removed most of them from Instagram and LinkedIn except people who interact with me through WhatsApp). Quora is the worst rather than Facebook. Generally, on Quora, everything has been made open and connected and has already been seen (p.53). It is really sad when some people find validation to explain that they have a good life and think other people do not have a good life like them. Separately, they do not get compliments and appreciation in their real life even though their life is mostly sad because they are always focusing on the past.
Nevertheless, when someone joins Quora and follows them to answer questions about their personal life, mostly they will be angry. Moreover, it sounds like a new person will ruin their community on Quora. From here, I realized one thing that I never knew before.
Mostly, people join Quora because their real friends do not know Quora. As a result, they will decide to write their problem on Quora because it is anonymous, and their friends will not know their problem.
I Feel Something Weird on Quora
The first time I joined Quora, I realized something different about Quora — it was weird. Quora is different from all social media. Quora is a platform, but the user is created as a community. How to know about that? When they are connected, they meet their old friends. Surprisingly, they have WhatsApp phone numbers and Instagram each other which for me is a personal thing. Besides, they meet each other. Someone will think that I’m envious of that. Nonetheless, for me is creepy because you meet someone over the internet that you didn’t ever know before.
I thought that was cool, but the reality is not as good as I thought. The more people know your life, they will know your weaknesses. Furthermore, a lot of data that people know from the internet to hack and leak your data to the internet. Although it is a positive thing and vice versa. Social media solely builds your fascination. Real life and the internet can be different in our lives.
Then, I thought:
Is it weird if I do not join the group and follow someone on Instagram? I just want to them focus on my writing without knowing my personal life.
Generally, it will still be weird for some people because Quora has many circles which I think that useless. Finally, I joined one group, only one group and everything had changed. My personal life was private on the Internet, it changed to see for everyone that I saved their number on WhatsApp.
My thought was the same as Kiberd’s thought in page 57:
…Again and again, it has prompted questions about the things I do not share. If I won’t share them, why won’t I share them? Are my inner thoughts somehow taboo? These Questions, coupled with the triumphant vision of life my friends present on their timelines, deepen the schism between my private and public selves. There must be something wrong with me, and one day that flaw will inevitably be made public and will drive the world to shun me. I have in me something unwholesome, unlovable, unshareable; something hidden that there is no place for, because there are no hidden places anymore…
Then, I followed some people to share, and I did not feel uncomfortable about that. Moreover, Quora is a place to share what they do not have in their real life. Hence, they just need some place to write what people think is real, but it is not real, they make their bubbles to show off their ‘best’ life.
Furthermore, the reason I left Quora is that a lot of incels and people share a wrong perspective about finances, life, and so on — they are like a motivator who motivates everyone but mostly they are tone deaf. and wrong. If we followed them, our lives would be more chaotic because we have different conditions. If they can with that it does not mean, we also could do that thing.
After I Left Quora, I felt happy.
Too much social media will make you feel tired. Moreover, with too many interactions on the Internet, you will forget that a lot of people in your real life care about you. The Internet is the place to find some information and knowledge but if harm yourself, you need to leave or take a rest for a while.
I feel happy because I do not need to follow some drama on the Internet, and I become more productive and find my identity through books, courses, and videos on YouTube. Hence, I find a new hobby, crocheting. Then, how about your writing? Such as linguistics, book reviews, places, poems, and so on. The answer is, that I discovered a new place to write them. Generally, for book reviews and poems, I will review on Instagram, Medium (English), and my personal blog. On the other hand, for my old writing about linguistics, I will place it on my blog using Bahasa Indonesia.
Here are some reasons I have not written for half a year, I have a lot of activities and writing blocks. Furthermore, I need to take a rest from blogging and disconnect some social media from my real life. Hence, I need to think what my purpose for writing on Medium and my personal Blog. Moreover, I also started my small business for some portfolios and a job as an entrepreneur and took some courses such as copywriting and digital marketing. In addition, I am also mentally tired of everything in 2023.
See you,
With Love, Asrita.
(Notes: if you want to read more of my book review, you can follow me on Instagram @asrita.hs)
